H

| September 17th, 2008 | .Tips, Alphabet Cycle, Portfolio 2

H
No hints this time…this letter is TOP SECRET. I probably shouldn’t even be showing you it. If I disappear under mysterious circumstance in the next few days, the combination to the hamjet is “juicyfriut.” Unlock it and fly to my moon house. Once you’re in the dungeon, look for the spare key to the vault I keep in the iron maiden. Use it. The vault contains — among other treasures — an enormous and ancient tome that details the history of this letter. It’s all a red herring. Scan it into a computer at 300dpi and be sure to line each page up EXACTLY in the corner. Merge the resulting files into a single PDF and open it in in imageJ. It will fail to open and give you a jumble of letters. That is the passkey you need to type into the mirror vault key lock swirl in the bathroom mirror. Once inside, you should drink the vial of rambaldi’s blood you’ve been keeping for just such a case. After you drink, you will collapse for 48 hours. On waking, exhausted and delirious, you will find yourself in a foreign land and faced by an ancient monk who will ask you for a sign. You must immediately begin fighting him to the death. As he feels his last breaths approaching he will beg you stop and will reveal to you the identity of the letter. And then he will die. After that, feel free to use the hamjet at your leisure.

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