Feed me pls.

Legend has it that when atomic anthropologist Enrico Szilárd found the first natural chain reaction in Gabon in 1355 he wrote in his journal (this was before the lowercase letter was discovered), “FORGET CRYSTAL FLASH> PUT THIS NATEURAL [sic] CHAIN REACTION INTO THE BOMB.”  For this he won that year’s nobel prize in poetry.  It wasn’t a particularly beautiful phrase, and he spelled natural wrong, but at that time there was no prize in WMDing and everyone agreed he should be honored for suggesting such a dangerous weapon.

I want your everything, as long as it’s free.  Cause I don’t have any earning potential.  : [

(Also just fyi, I don’t want your ugly.)

I did not have to cut off my ear to achieve this level of artistic mastery

People are always asking me: “HOw are you so good with a knife??” And I tell them the truth: lots of dolphin fighting.  Once when a particularly salacious pod kidnapped and enslaved me, I noticed their warlord making total garbage with a technique I had never seen before.  Of course I immediately saw the potential he would never see even as a vampire, and I regurgitated the knife I held in my stomach and shanked my way out of there.  When I set my over-sided brain to the task, I immediately came up with something that has been described alternatively as “rarefied glory” and “moderately dangerous.”  It’s this, this is the thing I built.  BEHOLD>

This is another apple.

… Or, old-fashioned molecular biology.

Stacie commissioned this virgin symbol, the one that we use to note virgin female fruit flies.  There is no symbol for non-virgin females, because when they’re discovered, they’re burnt at the stake!  Eeek!  Seriously though, we smash them or drown them in alcohol.  Cause their spawn is tainted by lame dudes.  It’s also the symbol of Queen Elizabeth the Hackney-eyed, commonly known as A Virgin Queen.  Little known fact: she was actually a virgin.  : [