Rainbow Tornado

| March 11th, 2011 | .Tips, 10,000ft, Existential Threats, FOR SALE, Guessers, Robots, Team Sports, Weather as Conversation

Here’s one I bet you can’t guess: whose dual tech is this? Also, what the hell does that mean??

BE CAREFUL though. If you’re boss see’s this, she’s going to think you’re a timecop from the future and will probably attack you on sight. You can take her, just be ready is all I’m saying. RAINBOW TORNADO ATTACK!!!!

[Available, $50.]

Black Sheep

| March 1st, 2011 | .Tips, Animals Hunting Humans, Baby Knows Best, CHOMPable, FOR SALE, Robots

FINALLY the sheepy cap-trick is completed.  BEHOLD THE GLORY of this wooly triumvirate.  Except instead of guys who wanna kill each other, these are a fun tippy frame and sheepy shirt, and that sheep friend from before.  Not really the same.  : ?  Bad analogy.  But how does one make a 3-analogy without triumviri?  Hell if I know, Dan Carlin is the only person I’ve ever heard say anything.  : /

[Available, $50.]

Watermelon

| January 28th, 2011 | .Tips, CHOMPable, Commissions, FOR SALE

TipArt Watermelon Picture Frame

200 years ago Louise was leading a regiment in the Napoleonic wars and fell into one of the wormholes created by the great, great, great grandmother of CERN (Ye Olde CERN, colloquially).  It was a sad occasion for her family, but an even sadder occasion for me because the wormhole dropped her off in my apartment where she immediately chopped off one my legs with her sword.  : [  I begged for mercy and she said that I could keep the rest of my legs if I could produce a watermelon made of tips.  I was immediately heartened because I happened to have just such an artifact IN MY VERY HANDS.  Seeing this, she flew into a rage and destroyed it, claiming me a liar and the debt unpaid.  GREAT.

I told her that there was nothing else I could do and that artifacts like that are only created once every 100,000 yrs.  Then she chopped off my second leg, and after crying a little, I opened my safe and revealed the original artifact (the one she destroyed was a replica) and wept again at it’s parting.  Then she put my legs back on and named me the duke of new-otherton, which was pretty much just a slap in the face, cause his castle had sunk to the bottom of the ocean a few years earlier.  I know it’s not really my home, and that I’ve never been there, but I can’t shake the feeling that I HAVE TO GO BACK!![SOLD.

[Commission a reproduction for $50.]

GreenElephant

| January 4th, 2011 | .Tips, Animals Hunting Humans, Baby Knows Best, CHOMPable, FOR SALE

I know what you’re thinking: “When are you going to finish this nursery animal set so I can install it before my baby explodes into town on a skateboard??”  Soon my friend, soon.  You know, it’s hard to find a reptile that is babe friendly (not a snake or a hyena) and has a simple silhouette.  Suggestions?  : [

[Available, $50.]

Blue Berries

| December 7th, 2010 | .Tips, CHOMPable, FOR SALE, Fruit

TipArt Blueberries

Flavor blasted.

[Available, $50.]

Blue Fish

| November 27th, 2010 | .Tips, Animals Hunting Humans, Baby Knows Best, CHOMPable, Commissions, FOR SALE

TipArt Frame Blue FishTipArt Blue Fish Frame

Andrew said to me, “I need something for my wall that will let everyone know how rich and powerful I am.” Of course I immediately suggest he nail-gun up $100 bills, but it turns out he’s not actually rich.  So, a relic from the TipArt Fortress/Studio seemed like a good second best.  I showed him my FOR SALE list, but he spit on it and said, “only the most custom objects are fit for my gruesome lair.”  Whatever.  After that we discussed his deepest desires, and I went to work.  In the studio I spun around, struck a fancy pose, and THIS sprang whole from my head.  Good enough.

[SOLD.  Commission a reproduction for $50.]

Plastic Ducky

| November 16th, 2010 | .Tips, Animals Hunting Humans, Baby Knows Best, FOR SALE

Plastic Ducky, you’re the one.  You make polyester-resin-sanding time, so much fun.

[Available, $50.]

Cherry

| October 19th, 2010 | .Tips, CHOMPable, Commissions, FOR SALE, Fruit

Remember when Margaret used sorcery and legal tender to commission an Apple?  And then later that worthless Dolphin King attacked my son and in the course of rescuing him — and then killing the King in cold blood — I made a Banana and pawned it off on her as an original work?  Well, I pulled it off again with these Cherries.  Sucker!  What do you mean my cost of labor is ¢0.75/hr??  : [  I think I need an adding machine.

[SOLD.  Commission a reproduction for $50.]

Banana

| September 28th, 2010 | .Tips, CHOMPable, Commissions, FOR SALE, Fruit

In the summer of 2010 a great calm came over the land and then the Dolphin King kidnapped my son and threatened to hand him over to my robot nemesis unless I retreated to my forest forge and fabbed a fabulous framed banana.  I told him it was impossible, but he just let out a blood curdling screech and flew off into the distance.  My first instinct was the send my lieutenant and an expeditionary force to burn his pitiful fort to the ground, but they were immediately ambushed and slaughtered.  So I went to work with hammer and sickle and low!, this finished and sublime product sprang whole from the side of my head.  Good enough.  I traded it for my son, and the second I had him back I broke my promise and killed the Dolphin King where he stood, cause I don’t eff around.  Then Margaret commissioned a banana and I pretended to work on it for two months so that she didn’t realize I had already made it for another purpose.  And I got away with it, like I always do!  Zooooooooom!

[SOLD. Commission a reproduction for $50.]

Gaga Oulala

| June 25th, 2010 | .Tips, Animals Hunting Humans, FOR SALE, Probably WMDs, Robots

I want your everything, as long as it’s free.  Cause I don’t have any earning potential.  : [

(Also just fyi, I don’t want your ugly.)

[Available, $10.]