Give it a little twist.  Yeah, like that.

I’m talking about the old Prometheus, not the American one.  Everything went downhill after we invented fire.  But that’s ok cause the lowlands are where all the money is.  Sweet, sweet money.  (srsly)

I keep hearing about sentient tornadoes, but I never hear about volcanoes at all these days, what’s up with that?

“You dumb bastard. It’s not a schooner… it’s a sailboat.”

I’d LOVE to see a graph plotting deaths by short bow as a function of years.

ZOmg whose head is this?  Seriously, can you please tell me?

This scalawag likes his anchors BIG.  And honking.  Just like he likes his collateralized debt obligations.

You gotta trust your instincts and your LSO if you’re gonna trap the #3 wire.

Here’s a list of funny plays to do: four strike outs in an inning, diving catch, stealing either first base or the home plate, walk in the winning run.

Turns out that woman in that story was showing solidarity, not a lesbian.  That’ll teach you to jump to conclusions.  Though as a rock star, you can bang lots of  people more or less at will, so it probably wasn’t the most poignant teaching experience.

Inspired by my otherworldly work on Tishina’s Ghost Killing Triangle, Anand asked me to retreat to my infernal foundry (btw, I’m really glad that everyone knows it’s infernal) and forge this invaluable relic that let’s you walk through one door a week.  Which he will auction to the highest bidder.  What?  You want your own artifact, cause you’re gunna ambush some dolphins and don’t wanna take any chances?  I can help you with that, drop me a line (commissions@tipart.org).