This is another apple.

Stacie commissioned this virgin symbol, the one that we use to note virgin female fruit flies.  There is no symbol for non-virgin females, because when they’re discovered, they’re burnt at the stake!  Eeek!  Seriously though, we smash them or drown them in alcohol.  Cause their spawn is tainted by lame dudes.  It’s also the symbol of Queen Elizabeth the Hackney-eyed, commonly known as A Virgin Queen.  Little known fact: she was actually a virgin.  : [

This scalawag likes his anchors BIG.  And honking.  Just like he likes his collateralized debt obligations.

Let’s have a contest.  Best new submission before the end of May wins a shirt.  Anything you want, you got it.

The Competition:

Cellular Biology, Tammer
Gold fishy, Sarah
Pointer, Kara
Blue Whale, Sarah

Earlier this year, Rob’s brother Eric started machinations to acquire the next piece in my ‘extremely dangerous device’ development cycle. You never know a man’s intentions in a situation like this, so I wasn’t thrilled about letting one of these weapons out of my hands, but he put me in a compromising position. AND SO IT WAS MADE AND GIVEN, forged using the ground amygalda of 200 feral cats. Is it vegan if animal parts are used to make it, even if you don’t eat them? Not that you eat this. It doesn’t contain animal parts itself, but it’s made using some, I mean. So I don’t know. Btw, I’m not even gunna tell you what it does, cause if I did, Eric would immediately be assassinated in its pursuit. And as skeptical as I am of his intentions, the people who would kill him for it are even more unsavory.

Turns out that woman in that story was showing solidarity, not a lesbian.  That’ll teach you to jump to conclusions.  Though as a rock star, you can bang lots of  people more or less at will, so it probably wasn’t the most poignant teaching experience.

Inspired by my otherworldly work on Tishina’s Ghost Killing Triangle, Anand asked me to retreat to my infernal foundry (btw, I’m really glad that everyone knows it’s infernal) and forge this invaluable relic that let’s you walk through one door a week.  Which he will auction to the highest bidder.  What?  You want your own artifact, cause you’re gunna ambush some dolphins and don’t wanna take any chances?  I can help you with that, drop me a line (commissions@tipart.org).

BEHOLD.  Tishina demanded I retreat to my infernal foundry and craft the most incredible relic ever forged.  When I completed the impossible task, I shed a single tear which imbued the artifact with the power to destroy one ghost per day (bonus!).  But you know, I could probably do it again.  Get in touch if you’re interested in discussing an object of your own imagination (commissions@tipart.org).