Earlier this year, Rob’s brother Eric started machinations to acquire the next piece in my ‘extremely dangerous device’ development cycle. You never know a man’s intentions in a situation like this, so I wasn’t thrilled about letting one of these weapons out of my hands, but he put me in a compromising position. AND SO IT WAS MADE AND GIVEN, forged using the ground amygalda of 200 feral cats. Is it vegan if animal parts are used to make it, even if you don’t eat them? Not that you eat this. It doesn’t contain animal parts itself, but it’s made using some, I mean. So I don’t know. Btw, I’m not even gunna tell you what it does, cause if I did, Eric would immediately be assassinated in its pursuit. And as skeptical as I am of his intentions, the people who would kill him for it are even more unsavory.

I started with something else in mind…

Here’s a tube box with some holes in it.  It’s not very goo- OMG it made an arrow!  I’m so good at this, it’s not even funny.

Here’s a list of funny plays to do: four strike outs in an inning, diving catch, stealing either first base or the home plate, walk in the winning run.

The boomerang is a special kind of thrown weapon that will return to you no matter which dimension it ends up in, and no matter how many animals it is stuck in.  It is probably not a weapon of mass destruction.

Turns out that woman in that story was showing solidarity, not a lesbian.  That’ll teach you to jump to conclusions.  Though as a rock star, you can bang lots of  people more or less at will, so it probably wasn’t the most poignant teaching experience.

Inspired by my otherworldly work on Tishina’s Ghost Killing Triangle, Anand asked me to retreat to my infernal foundry (btw, I’m really glad that everyone knows it’s infernal) and forge this invaluable relic that let’s you walk through one door a week.  Which he will auction to the highest bidder.  What?  You want your own artifact, cause you’re gunna ambush some dolphins and don’t wanna take any chances?  I can help you with that, drop me a line (commissions@tipart.org).

A is for…

In the future, we will all be represented by avatars who do all our dancing for us.  (Don’t worry, they’ll be GFE).  Although eventually all avatars will look just like bruce willis, initially mine will look like this.  Sidenote: I estimate the upgrade to full bruce willis mode will increase GF by 20%.

Congratulations to Balpreet, inaugural Contributor-in-Residence!  She’ll be spending some time at The TipArt Deep-sea Fortress and Studio to get away from it all and focus on a series of contributions to our new Star Wars category, ‘Who’s scruffy-looking?‘  Can’t wait!  Also, beware of the dolphins, we’re kinda at war with them.

Look how self satisfied I am with this bugger.  LET THAT BE A LESSON TO THOSE WHO SAY THEY ARE NOT CREAtive enough to contribute.  The bar has been set.  Like, on the ground.  I took it off the posts and set it on the ground, so that you could walk over it.